This story has taken a lot longer to start writing than the other kids’ birth stories because it has been an emotional ride and just so many more unpredictable parts. Harry was born with a few birth anomalies, but this story starts during the prenatal stage to include some important details leading up to his birth. Some of these details may be a bit blurred, but this recount is to the best of my knowledge.

We found out we were pregnant in February of 2023, nearly two years after our pregnancy loss. It was and is a miracle to this day. I was so excited to be a mom of three and see my two big kids be the best older siblings. We went around the 8 week mark for our first ultrasound. After experiencing a loss, it is so different. Fear and anxiety surrounded me, but as the tech found his heartbeat, it was one of the best days. We went home and could rest a bit knowing our baby was okay.

Throughout the pregnancy, I had the usual symptoms and we decided to do the NIPT genetic testing since I was of advanced maternal age. It all came back low risk and we found out we were having another baby boy at 10 weeks. Our backyard was filled with blue confetti!

The next time we really learned anything new was at our 20 week anatomy ultrasound. The kids came with us, but they couldn’t really tell what any of the pictures were. I was just happy they got to experience this with us. They were asking funny questions and the tech asked me to quit laughing so she could get images. It was at this appointment, we were told we have a single umbilical artery. They told us it wasn’t a big deal, they would just watch closer. In some cases, babies have growth issues and the more research I did, it was a rabbit hole and I would just let time tell us more. They also couldn’t get measurements on his legs and heart and told us to come back for another ultrasound around 24 weeks. The doctor told us this is common to not see everything. You can imagine now how the next four weeks went. We tried to think positively, but my mind went to the worst and I kept thinking something was wrong with his heart. I was trying so hard to live in the moment and enjoy this pregnancy, but I couldn’t even enjoy shopping for baby clothes without crying. And this was even before anything was confirmed wrong.

At our 24 week ultrasound, we went in and the ultrasound tech was quiet. I knew something wasn’t right. The doctor told us that there was potential issues with blood flow through the heart. Nothing too specific, but we were told to go see the high risk office where they would do another ultrasound of the baby’s heart. We had to wait another two weeks for that visit. At that visit, they told us something was wrong with the flow of the pulmonary artery, maybe pulmonary stenosis, but they couldn’t confirm and sent us to the University of Kentucky Congenital Heart Clinic for a fetal echocardiogram. At this point, we were quite anxious and felt like we were being bounced around from one doctor to the next with no clear answers, so the doctor made a call and got us in the their office in two days. So at this point, we knew something was wrong with our baby but couldn’t pinpoint exactly what. My husband tried to keep us together, but I just wasn’t okay. I didn’t know what this meant or how severe. All I knew was that my mom gut rarely failed me, and this was confirming my worst fears. The day we found out what was wrong, was my son’s first day of kindergarten and my daughter’s first day of second grade. Getting them ready that morning took a new toll on me as a mother. A seemingly wonderful first day for them was overshadowed by anxiety for us to find out what was wrong with our baby. After an hour long fetal echo, the doctor came in and that is the first time we heard the term Tetralogy of Fallot, a heart defect that actually consists of 4 separate defects. How could this be? Our other two babies were perfectly healthy. I did all the right things. It just didn’t seem right or real. But, we came to find out how common it really is and it’s nobody’s fault. It has been devastating to learn our little baby would have to face open heart surgery. There were so many unknowns and information we had yet to learn.

After this diagnosis, I was scheduled at UK in their high risk OB clinic. I went for NSTs (non stress test) twice a week so they could check baby’s heart rate and I also had more ultrasounds and echos scheduled. This pregnancy was overwhelming and all the appointments were just a prelude to his birth. The last echo we had before his birth confirmed he probably wouldn’t need surgery at birth, but we had to wait to meet him before they could completely say that with confidence.

The silver lining to this so far is that we live in Lexington, Ky and the UK Congenital Heart Clinic is one of the top in the nation. Every interaction we had with doctors was pleasant and reassuring. We have also had the opportunity to work closely with a social worker, which makes navigating all the ins and outs a little bit easier. The congenital heart defect club is not one anyone wants to be part of, but also we are so glad to have a community surrounding us. All of this just still didn’t seem real.

Somewhere around 38 weeks I began having contractions that I swore were labor but they would come and go. This went on for about a week and then at my next NST, Harry’s heart rate decelerated and my doctor recommended we go to triage for an induction. I have never had an induction and looking back, I wish I would have asked more questions. This wasn’t the ideal birth plan I had, but I trusted my doctors and knew they had his best interest in mind. Here we go, baby was coming!