Today marks 3 years since I said “I do.”  Although it has flown by, it has been highly emotional at times with many ups and downs. Dan’s first deployment was right before our marriage began, and he will be returning home in about a month. So we have been though 2 total. This has taken many sacrifices on both of us and our families. We take a unique perspective on marriage, as about half of our relationship has been apart. We are constantly reintegrating as Dan comes home. And for me, there is always a fear that he will leave again.

I wanted to sum up several things I have learned from 3 years of marriage. This is not to say I know it all (because I don’t!), but things that I have been blessed to learn through this journey.

Serve your spouse– Even when we are exhausted, this is still very important. The more you serve each other, the more the other wants to serve back. It is funny how this works, but I never take the stance of ‘that’s your job!’ We are a team in this marriage. Going through deployments also helps this in a weird way. I think each of us learns the other’s role while we are separated.

Encourage each other– The last thing your spouse wants from you is for you to bring them down. Our role is to lift each other up in good times and bad. There is enough negativity already in this world, they do not want to come home to it from you! I had to learn this the hard way when I didn’t realize I was bringing work home with me- well, the negativity of it! So now I try to do my best to stay positive and get back to the person I was when we first met!

Compliment each other– I try to do this every day, whether it is by encouraging Dan to send me his workout pictures, or whether it is telling him I am proud of his accomplishments. I want him to know that he is respected, admired, and loved. I hope there will never be a doubt in his mind.

Try new things together– Whether this is riding bikes together, exploring new cities, or remodeling the house, this can be fun! Keep life exciting, because you never know when it will be coming to an end. I love trying new things with my best friend and husband.

I am sure there are a bunch more things, but that sums up some of the most important. What things has marriage taught you? I love being married, and so happy to call Dan my husband.

Thanks for reading,

Kim